We have to be broken so we can be whole again.

This is so true. I have been very afraid of committing myself. I don't fear loving though. I've got all the love I can give to anyone. And maybe this is also the reason why it is not really hard to love me back.    I am so much afraid of being hurt though because that would mean that I will not hesitate to let go.   I've been alone for so many years that being with someone sometimes doesn't really excite me anymore. I am not so much afraid of losing and being alone.    What I fear most is the pain it causes me and the pain I inflict to the one I love and that gives me so much more pain.    It hurts to see the one you love go. It is unfair for them to be pushed away just because you are afraid of what might happen.